The Bible talks about being fearful of God. I am not sure that I have entirely grasped that concept though. I have unintentionally manipulated that meaning into being frightened of God.
Have you ever been in a relationship with another person, a friend, a spouse, a significant other and just sat waiting for them to mess up. Every time you shared a little more of yourself you silently waited to see if this time they would come through or if they would let what you shared die.
You expect them to hurt you, you expect them to mess up, you expect them to leave you hanging and let you down.
Well, guess what? If that describes you I hate to tell you but I have to diagnose you with Trust issues.
But wait! Do not fret too much because everyone has trust issues to some degree.
Whether you are too prideful to trust, or too hurt to trust, too lonely to trust, too trusted to trust, too broken to trust, too untrustable to trust.
We all struggle with it to different degrees. Trust me, (haha) relationships wouldn’t be so difficult half the time if we didn’t ALL struggle with this.
Yet another pitfall of the fallenness of humanity.
I believe these trust issues are directly related to us not being able to fully trust God. With our health, with our future, with our families, with our hurts, with our struggles.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like all I am doing is waiting for God to not come through.
For me my trust issues stem from rejection and broken trust. And I would be lying if I said I did not project that on my relationship with God. Even right now as we speak I am struggling to trust Him.
So as I sit here and ponder my trust issues I ask myself, “why”. Why won’t I just trust.
Well my dear friends, I am frightened. I am deathly afraid that He won’t come through. I am afraid that He will leave me hanging and only more pain is ahead.
God isn’t a human though. God is not our parents. God is not our best friends. God is not our exes.
God is God.
I AM, is how he refers to himself.
I AM is alive
I AM is present
I AM provides.
I personally have a lot of question marks in my life right now and quite a lot to be fearful of. But, that is on me. God has not changed in any of it.
He is still I AM.
It is me who has become fearful, it is me who has run to the corner to hide. It is me who imagines the darkness in others hearts. It is me who is afraid of the boogieman under my bed.
And yet, God still is I AM.
So as I sort through my fears and trust issues, and as you do as well, know that God is not the one you need to be afraid to trust.
What happens next, well friends, that is what tomorrow is for.
God is still I AM. Constant. Persistent. Intentional.