I will show you just how creative I can be. All you have to do is lend me a Crayon and I will go to town. I will scribble, I will fill in, I will make circles and draw shaky lines. The truth though is that I suck at coloring and drawing. I can’t hold my hands in one place long enough to take a good picture. I am musically inept. I cannot even carry a tune or keep a beat. Ask any of my friends.
I have a passion for writing but now that does not necessarily mean that I am a proficient writer by any means. Now I am not beating myself up, rather I am being realistic. I may not fit the stereotype for a creative individual but do you know who is creative? God is creative.
Have you ever laid out on a turf field with just one other friend. Right after it has rained. You are just laying there letting the field poke through your shirt and the wetness soak your pants. You just lay there, still. One breath in, keep your eyes closed. As you breath out your eye lids creep open and the first sight that your gaze settles on is a star billions of miles away. A star. A shining little bulb that reflects back to you all of your deepest passions and desires. In that little dot sits everything you want out of life. Man, does it seem far away but it is warm. You want that warmth. You want to pluck it from the sky and press it against your chest. If only you could put your hands around your dreams, if only you could objectify reality in all its complexity.
Now that is creativity. That though is God. When subtle words kiss your ear and your heart is ripped to pieces and then slowly and wonderfully mended back together, that is God in all His creativity. Yea that is love.
Love that keeps me tossing in and out of sleep. Love that spurs me to be anxious, excited, nervous, scared and comforted. An all encompassing taste of satisfaction. The most soothing lullaby cradling your entire form. The sweaty-sweet disheveled stench of passion.
That is the love I am talking about. That is what I am experiencing. Right now. At this moment. It isn’t fleeting. Not unless you let it be. I am not nearly creative enough to imagine what it is I am feeling. God is creative enough to create what I am feeling.
I am scared about the possibility of spending next semester in Colorado Springs alone. I am stressed about financing issues as my car is on its way out. I am experiencing so much physical pain. My heart has been aching for a while now.
God has a way for me, that I know for sure. He will see it all to completion. I will not be left undone.
Much Love to all of my readers.
P.S. I suggest if you read this blog you look through your music library and pick out the most epic song you can find and blast it. Proceed then to dance around where ever it is that you are reading my blog. Enjoy dancing friends.