My first true blog this Winter Break, and here we go.
Its been an interesting first week and a half since I left school back on the 15th of December. I have been running around like a chicken with no head for most of it, or completely and utterly bored and alone for the other parts of it. I have gotten a good deal of reading done which is very nice. A lot of praying and well not a lot of writing. I think sometimes I convince myself that my words are not important enough to be read by others. And there is a huge fallacy. It has nothing to do with importance because well, I do not write for myself. I write for my readers. I want any words that they read from my finger tips to be about them and not about me, so I apologize for that struggle with pride.
Now back to this blog. The Curcio’s have had quite an eventful last two months. We lost our home in Hurricane Sandy, We got denied by insurance, we moved into a little rental that is kinda of cute, we welcomed another infant into our ranks and well we tried to come together as a cohesive family unit which has not really ever been our strong suit. But we love each other dearly and are working together and growing together. It’s a process, but life is a process.
This was all going on in my life and head while I was experiencing one of the most amazing semesters of my life socially and spiritually. Some days I was straight up confused and angry about how I could be so happy and content at school while my family was in shambles. Well, I could give you the easy answer that says that God filled me with an inconceivable joy that overcame all the worries in my life… He did do that on several occasions this semester, but for the most part, well I was submerged in denial.
Denial that anything was happening outside of school for me. Denial that I had to worry about anything past my last final. Well here I am a week and a half into Winter Break and I have to admit to you that, life exists on the other side of finals. And we have to navigate that life no matter how difficult and stressful it may seem. Luckily I am blessed with an incredibly supportive and loving family and group of friends who are like family.
So lets talk about healing since I am in need of it, and my family is in need of it, and my friends are in need of it…and well YOU are in need of it.
So I have talked about this before but I cannot seem to talk about it enough. Christ meets us in our vulnerability.
To be vulnerable requires confession. It requires dependence. It requires TRUST.
Trust in someone else, Trust in God.
It is one of the scariest things out there but its a risk well worth taking. Oh I have been burned before trusting others, but I promise there are those people out there who will never betray your trust, they will never leave you hanging.
God is the perfecter of trust. And sometimes we see Him as the perfect breaker of Trust, but we are like babies not fully comprehending truth in moments like that.
So vulnerability is where Christ heals us in amazing and profound ways. Trust me even if you have trust issues.
I have at least one close friend who I can confide anything in and well, I have, I have confided everything in him and he has in me also. There is nothing hiding between us. That, that is vulnerability. The things that God speaks into our friendship and does through us for each other and for others is mind-blowing sometimes. That is what community is all about. That is what it really should look like.
Now I am talking about radical healings from unprecedented pains and struggles. I am talking about healing from fears and woes that you never thought would go away. That is what vulnerability fosters.
Now I have a special message for any Christian men reading this blog. Stop pretending like you can get by without being vulnerable. I am so tired of guys dancing around their struggles and problems, like they have to be so much stronger than every one else. True vulnerable community and fellowship has no place for competition. If you want to be a part of healing, get over your pride. Every one is broken and every one needs love and encouragement and compassion poured into their lives.
Sorry for attacking men, I am sure there are some women that fall into this category as well, but as a male Christian who attends a Christian college you would not believe how uncommon true vulnerable male companionship and fellowship is… or maybe you would believe it.
So back to the crux of what I am trying to say. Confess your garbage to one another and you know what go out of your way to be vulnerable so that OTHERS will desire to be vulnerable with you.
But I warn you, if you are not first being vulnerable with God, this is going to be a pain strewn road you are traveling with very little healing if any ever experienced. If you cannot trust your maker than how can you ever trust someone else.
And I am convicting myself in typing those words.
You are very deeply and truly and madly loved by God. Own that and believe that my dear friend.
P.S. I am feeling very pulled to write this on this post, I write many of my blogs with the assumption that my readers have at least an understanding in Christianity and Jesus Christ. But if this is something that you do not understand or do not understand fully and desire to know more about, please, please message me or email me. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Do not hesitate to reach out. You are so so so so loved. And I love you, yet I may not even know you.