My stomach is aching with the 3/4 pound burger from last night. My muscles are cringing at every drop of rain as it pours on down. My mind is clouded with confusion and misdirection.
I am starting a new independence trend today. Even though it was pouring, pouring rain out I got my laptop, my bible and journals and headed out to a coffee shop. The cool thing about going out in the rain is that the chances of finding yourself alone in a thrifty coffee shop are closer to probable than anything else.
This green tea I am drinking is very very strong, just how I like it. I was just joined by several spoiled high school age teens. I shouldn’t be judgmental but the longer you live in Wayne, PA the more your judgments become a reality.
So a quick recap of this past week: The new freshmen at Eastern University moved in. I continued to work full-time and almost all of my friends moved back in to their dorm rooms. I was frustrated most of this week because I did not even have the opportunity to process the fact that a new year was beginning. I was just focused on making it through my last full week of work. It really stinks to have to sit at work alone while your friends are around to be enjoyed.
Right this very moment I am choosing to seek out Christ. I am choosing solitude and separation as to dull distractions and open my eyes, ears, and heart to Christ. I have been feeling His call for several days now but have not been allowing myself to search Him out. Don’t do that.
People may not understand a yearning to be found but they won’t condemn you. If they do, they are wrong. Do not ignore a pulling, a calling, a true desperate yearning. What I am talking about is not a human desire. I am talking about a craving that you could never alone comprehend. A burning urge to be with one greater than you or anyone ever. I am talking about a direct touch from God in your life.
It happens often. The distractions must be disregarded though. For a short time being. Focus only on the simplest of truths. The truth of Christ.
He will reveal himself to you. I say that with the greatest of confidence. I do.
My questions are is: What Lord, are you saying to me now? Where are you pulling me next? Are you preparing me or protecting me?
I will wait for Him to reveal those answers to me. As long as it takes, I will wait.
I told a friend recently that I find it the easiest to find comfort and peace from God when I run out of options or my mind becomes an absolute mess, a mess that I cannot organize alone. When that happens everything becomes simple. So simple. I find simplicity in the grandest of complexities. I find God.
He found me a long time ago. I need to throw open the dirty and dusty window that is making Him seem so blurry. I need let Him illuminate that window so that I can smash it open.
It has stopped raining. My head is itchy. I feel comfort. Now for His word…
When I know. I will let you all know. Peace, Patience, Love. Always and forever to you all.