Back to Eastern University. Today was my first day of classes in my second semester here at EU. Today was good, busy, sad, interesting. My roommates are missing and I have time to myself…its beautiful. Some big changes have happened over break and this semester will surely be different from the last. Quickly let me send a shout out to my brother Nathan Forte, I miss him.
So here is what is going on. God calls us to things. Fun things, rigorous things, scary things, and so forth. I am not sure how you deal with callings but when I feel the creator of the universe has a job for me to do I get sick to my stomach. Nerves, anticipation, and anxiety can have horrible persuasions on a persons mind. I just want to do whatever it is…right! What really is tough is when an obvious calling is something that other people may find strange and uncharacteristic of you. Let me just say it sucks! I hate having the feeling that I need to give people a disclaimer about how I may be acting differently. The care and love that others show is beautiful. I love that part.
Our humanity destroys our willingness to follow God, let me just make that point very clearly. I am fighting against my own humanness on a daily basis it seems. I wish it didn’t have to be so, but it is. I am confident that I will meet God’s will. It will hurt, it will be a battle, it will be worth it. I am working daily to be a warrior and do what I must. I called this blog back to the trenches but maybe it should be called entering the trenches because I have never actually been there before. I have sat back safely, protected, and lazy. I’m making a shift and it will be good.
I pray that anyone else who needs to do the same has the strength to do so and I pray for the stamina and focus to sustain this battle.